Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire;
he breaks out against all sound judgment. Proverbs 18:1
Last week I wrote a bit about parenthood. I’ve been dwelling a lot on fatherhood and that’s forced me to take a good look at some of my weaknesses. One trend I’ve noticed is that I tend to isolate myself. I think I can get along fine without other people, but the truth is that I need people.
I think I first started to notice this at a past job. It was a tough job and I worked long hours but I couldn’t seem to get enough of it. But one by one valued co-workers left and as they left the job slowly became unbearable. The work was pretty much the same but it the team was falling apart. It was the team that drove me on to accomplish great things.
I eventually changed jobs and my enthusiasm was renewed but after a couple of years at that job once again my energy started to drain. It was really charged up back in November when I attended 2010 PASS Summit. Being around people who were excited about technology infused me with a new passion for what I was doing.
But it goes deeper than the job. I love my job but my job is not my life. I recently started attending a weekly meeting of men who are trying to be open about our problems and struggles. It was in listening to the stories they told – burdens they no longer feel able to carry, dreams that have been shattered, addictions they’ve been keeping secret – that I was able to first articulate the pains I’ve had that have driven me to do some pretty awful things: lies, betrayals, etc.
At heart I believe people are primarily creatures who need relationships. There is something in us – planted by God – that needs to connect.
My tendency is to retreat but I see now that I need to start investing in relationships. I know this will help my career but I’m hoping it will help me in all areas of life.
I’d like to leave you with a challenge. Can you list in the various areas of your life – work, personal, spiritual, etc – the people you can count on?